this is a photo of my father and the rest of our family from when I was four or five. When I went to visit my grandmother last year after my grandfather passed away, she told me the story of how he went searching at a bunch of thrift stores to find me the perfect “princess dress” for my birthday (was obsessed with the original The King and I - those hoop skirts, dang! - and My Fair Lady at that age). And he obviously found the most perfect one possible. With a crinkly crinoline petticoat and everything. You can see how much I loved that thing in the photo.

Missing him big time today. He was such an awesome guy.

this is a photo of my father and the rest of our family from when I was four or five. When I went to visit my grandmother last year after my grandfather passed away, she told me the story of how he went searching at a bunch of thrift stores to find me the perfect “princess dress” for my birthday (was obsessed with the original The King and I - those hoop skirts, dang! - and My Fair Lady at that age). And he obviously found the most perfect one possible. With a crinkly crinoline petticoat and everything. You can see how much I loved that thing in the photo.

Missing him big time today. He was such an awesome guy.

@6 months ago with 5 notes
#lawren daltroy #dad #I wish I could bottle up my happiness and give it to my mother. 
Fredrick Arthur D’Altroy

(May 1, 1919 - January 1, 2013)

 Fred was born in Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada, the second child in his family.  When he was four years old he and his family moved to Port Alberni, British Columbia, a small logging and fishing town on a fjord along the Pacific coast of Vancouver Island.

 Fred’s father died when Fred was only 12 years old. By then, his family consisted of his mother and 4 children. They had very little money but with thrift, the help of a large garden, and left over catch received from the local fishing boats they were able to survive. His mother insisted on all the children staying in high school until they graduated.

 In the height of the depression, Fred held various jobs, and eventually joined the Canadian militia.  When the war in Europe broke out, Fred joined the Canadian Army and went overseas in 1941 as a member of the Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry (PPCLI). He spent six years in Europe fighting in Sicily, Italy, Germany, and The Netherlands. 

 When he came back home Fred immediately signed up to attend University. During his first year there, he met his beloved wife, Louise Reimer. After a 3 week courtship, they decided to get married and have been a committed couple ever since.  

 Fred received his bachelor and masters degree at the University of British Columbia.  During that time, they had two children, Lawren Hugh and Terence Norman. 

 Fred and his family moved to Lafayette, Indiana so Fred could attend Purdue University. [Louise claims that he decided on this university because Purdue’s football team beat Notre Dame the year before and Fred wanted to go to a winning football school. The ironic thing was that he couldn’t afford to go to the games, so he got a job as an usher!] At Purdue, Fred majored in the, then, new field of solid state physics. After graduating with his Ph.D. he was hired by Bell Laboratories and focused on transistor research and development. He received 17 patents in this field.

 Fred retired after 26 years and then spent another 8 years continuing as a consultant for Western Electric Company, a related company to Bell Labs.  At that time, he and Louise moved from Pennsylvania to southern California and settled in Carlsbad, CA.

 Fred was a man of great interests. He loved music, reading, photography, and then also took up painting after retirement. His paintings were beautiful. He formed lasting friendships and was loved by many. Each of his nieces thought she was his favorite. 

 Fred remained in good health until he was almost ninety. In the last two or three years of his life he had serious infections and pneumonia. That and the arthritis in his knees resulted in his being bedridden for the last six months. Despite his pain, he never lost his sense of humor (or his appetite!).  Fortunately, by the time of his death, he was pain free and in a coma. He merely stopped breathing.

 After 66 years of marriage, he is survived by his wife Louise; his remaining son, Terence and wife, Mariela; his daughter-in-law, Mary Ni (wife of his pre-deceased son, Lawren); his grandchildren Susan, Alison, Jenny, Nicole, and Mateo; his sister Isabelle Richardson; and his devoted caregiver Alexander (Alex) Julian Pas, Jr.

 He leaves beautiful memories.

Fredrick Arthur D’Altroy

(May 1, 1919 - January 1, 2013)

Fred was born in Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada, the second child in his family.  When he was four years old he and his family moved to Port Alberni, British Columbia, a small logging and fishing town on a fjord along the Pacific coast of Vancouver Island.

Fred’s father died when Fred was only 12 years old. By then, his family consisted of his mother and 4 children. They had very little money but with thrift, the help of a large garden, and left over catch received from the local fishing boats they were able to survive. His mother insisted on all the children staying in high school until they graduated.

In the height of the depression, Fred held various jobs, and eventually joined the Canadian militia.  When the war in Europe broke out, Fred joined the Canadian Army and went overseas in 1941 as a member of the Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry (PPCLI). He spent six years in Europe fighting in Sicily, Italy, Germany, and The Netherlands. 

When he came back home Fred immediately signed up to attend University. During his first year there, he met his beloved wife, Louise Reimer. After a 3 week courtship, they decided to get married and have been a committed couple ever since.  

Fred received his bachelor and masters degree at the University of British Columbia.  During that time, they had two children, Lawren Hugh and Terence Norman. 

Fred and his family moved to Lafayette, Indiana so Fred could attend Purdue University. [Louise claims that he decided on this university because Purdue’s football team beat Notre Dame the year before and Fred wanted to go to a winning football school. The ironic thing was that he couldn’t afford to go to the games, so he got a job as an usher!] At Purdue, Fred majored in the, then, new field of solid state physics. After graduating with his Ph.D. he was hired by Bell Laboratories and focused on transistor research and development. He received 17 patents in this field.

Fred retired after 26 years and then spent another 8 years continuing as a consultant for Western Electric Company, a related company to Bell Labs.  At that time, he and Louise moved from Pennsylvania to southern California and settled in Carlsbad, CA.

Fred was a man of great interests. He loved music, reading, photography, and then also took up painting after retirement. His paintings were beautiful. He formed lasting friendships and was loved by many. Each of his nieces thought she was his favorite. 

Fred remained in good health until he was almost ninety. In the last two or three years of his life he had serious infections and pneumonia. That and the arthritis in his knees resulted in his being bedridden for the last six months. Despite his pain, he never lost his sense of humor (or his appetite!).  Fortunately, by the time of his death, he was pain free and in a coma. He merely stopped breathing.

After 66 years of marriage, he is survived by his wife Louise; his remaining son, Terence and wife, Mariela; his daughter-in-law, Mary Ni (wife of his pre-deceased son, Lawren); his grandchildren Susan, Alison, Jenny, Nicole, and Mateo; his sister Isabelle Richardson; and his devoted caregiver Alexander (Alex) Julian Pas, Jr.

He leaves beautiful memories.

@1 year ago with 5 notes
#i don't deal with death very well #rest in peace grandpa fred #two guys i miss very much #dad #grandpa fred 

A Litany of Remembrance

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,
we will remember him.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
we will remember him.
In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring,
we will remember him.
In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer,
we will remember him.
In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
we will remember him.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
we will remember him.
When we are weary and in the need of strength
we will remember him.
When we are lost and sick at heart,
we will remember him.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
we will remember him.
So long as we live, he too shall live,
for he is now part of us, as
we remember him.

@1 year ago with 3 notes
#dad #we remember you #we carry you in our hearts #now and forever #rest in peace 
miss my dad every day. he was such a stylish dad (although i totally didn’t appreciate it back then). that must be how i learned to love fashion. and he was so good at giving advice, and resolving issues. i loved talking to him. well i mean, i just loved him, but that’s a given. best dad i could have asked for.
on a lighter note.. how apparent is it that my mom used to cut my hair with paper scissors in the bathroom? (just kidding mom my hair looked great…love you!)

miss my dad every day. he was such a stylish dad (although i totally didn’t appreciate it back then). that must be how i learned to love fashion. and he was so good at giving advice, and resolving issues. i loved talking to him. well i mean, i just loved him, but that’s a given. best dad i could have asked for.

on a lighter note.. how apparent is it that my mom used to cut my hair with paper scissors in the bathroom? (just kidding mom my hair looked great…love you!)

@2 years ago with 10 notes
#throwbackthursday #dad #i love you #miss you every day #lawren daltroy 
it’s not a feeling that fades easily. it’s always in the back of my mind. comforting and heartbreaking.
there have been so many lessons learned, so much advice given.. “Follow your heart. But, don’t give up!”. you were so wise. your wisdom lives on through us.
your gentle laughing soul, your strong music making hands, your delicious banana cream pie, your corny as fuck jokes. always the mediator, always willing to compromise. and you loved us so much.
it’s been eight years, as of today. but it still feels like you’re coming home. i miss you forever dad.

it’s not a feeling that fades easily. it’s always in the back of my mind. comforting and heartbreaking.

there have been so many lessons learned, so much advice given.. “Follow your heart. But, don’t give up!”. you were so wise. your wisdom lives on through us.

your gentle laughing soul, your strong music making hands, your delicious banana cream pie, your corny as fuck jokes. always the mediator, always willing to compromise. and you loved us so much.

it’s been eight years, as of today. but it still feels like you’re coming home. i miss you forever dad.

@2 years ago with 11 notes
#i wanted to write more but i just can't #dad #i love you #i miss you 
@3 years ago with 2 notes
#dad #tattoo #pamela love claw ring 

It’s Just That Simple (my father was the greatest guy)

Lawren H. Daltroy Memorial

Some of us are lucky enough to experience it—a friendship that starts in college and endures for a lifetime. It happened to Lawren Daltroy (at left in photo) and Charles Derrow (at right) , two Michigan undergrads who met in the fall of 1967 as freshmen in West Quad. Although virtually polar opposites in personality—Derrow describes his own style as “crash and burn” while Daltroy was “quiet and compromising”—the two men quickly bonded over intellectual interests and a love of music. One of their first joint undertakings was to come up with the funds to buy a decent piano for the dormitory lounge.

“It took me a few days to figure out who he was, but that was all,” Derrow remembers. He lists some of Daltroy’s qualities: “Principled, kind, good at many things, courteous, soft-spoken, empathetic.”

Daltroy majored in history and Derrow in anthropology: both eventually became health professionals. Derrow attended medical school at Ohio University and established a clinical practice in Ohio. Daltroy earned his MPH at Michigan and then went on to gain a doctorate in public health at Johns Hopkins University. He was recruited by Harvard University a few years later, and directed research in arthritis at Brigham and Women’s Hospital while simultaneously holding professorships at Harvard Medical School and the Harvard School of Public Health. Daltroy was internationally recognized for his groundbreaking research on health education and his untiring efforts to improve patient-provider communication.

“His real joy was the individual patient, the individual provider,” Derrow says. “Because everything that goes right and everything that goes wrong [in health care] happens in the interview between doctor and patient.”

Daltroy recognized from the start that doctor-patient communication profoundly affected every aspect of health care, from accurate diagnosis of an ailment, to the patient’s compliance with treatment, to overall health outcome. At his first hospital job he developed patient education programs for patients with various ailments, only to realize that every time he moved to another unit “you had to convince the doctors all over again that what you were doing was important,” as he said in a taped 2003 interview. He maintained an unswerving belief in doctor-patient communication throughout his career, researching how standard clinical procedures can impede the process, and offering meticulously researched tactics for doctors to improve their relations with patients. Over and over again, Daltroy explored this core concern in different ways. At the time of his death from cancer at age 54, he was looking at the ways functional illiteracy can impede a patient’s ability to get good health care.

Now a scholarship established by Derrow carries on the legacy of his friend. The Lawren H. Daltroy Memorial is a fund specifically designated for doctoral students focusing on provider/patient communication.

Derrow credits Daltroy with teaching him the importance of listening to his patients. The scholarship “is a penance for me,” he says wryly, acknowledging he himself often came up short in that area. It also explicitly conforms to Daltroy’s wishes, says Derrow, who discussed the legacy beforehand with his friend.

“He told me exactly what to do; I got it right from his mouth,” says Derrow. “He gave me very strict parameters, and the parameters were this was not to be a large-scale thing, it was to be the individual patient and the individual provider…It’s just that simple.”

A scholarship in Daltroy’s name, intended to improve practice in the field of patient-clinician communication, was established after his death at the American College of Rheumatology in Atlanta. But Derrow felt it was important to establish a scholarship specifically at the alma mater he and Daltroy shared.

“My awakening as an intellectual is in great measure a result of my undergraduate education at Michigan. I don’t believe I could have had a better college experience,” says Derrow, who also has funded an anthropology scholarship at Michigan. “Every door that I started to walk through opened [at Michigan]. I was exposed to all kinds of people… and I was exposed to all kinds of ideas. I owe a great debt to Michigan. All of my children are alums, and my grandchildren will be.”

Most health-care institutions, the UM School of Public Health among them, train students in listening techniques as part of their education, but it is still often given short shrift. Derrow says he hopes that the Lawren Daltroy Memorial Fund will focus and improve the effort. “You need to do it over and over again, you need to practice it, because no patient is the same as another. You have to be nimble to get somebody to understand you.”

@1 year ago with 1 note
#my father #lawren hugh daltroy #dad #reading these things make me cry #he was the best 

Coming Down To It (8.28.03)

Last night Terry told us his Arissa was not working any more
He and his doctor decided not to try anything else
He’s switched his focus to getting the best out of the next 6-12 months.
He’s come down to it,
And he’s at peace.

Today I bought two pairs of large pants to make room for my tumors.
I started morphine for the pain.
We talked about next steps if the new treatment fails, too.
I may be coming down to it.
And I’m at peace.

Peace is not giving up, but accepting
Whatever the results might be, of a good battle well fought.
I pray that God will grant me many years of peace before
I finally come down to it.

@1 year ago with 2 notes
#Coming Down To It (8.28.03) #lawren hugh daltroy #dad #coming down to it #so wise #he only lived a month more after writing this 

Anonymous said: did you always know you wanted a pitpull?

no, i only knew that i wanted a dog!

i have asthma, and since i was young i’ve been allergic to all sorts of inconvenient things (from cats and dogs to pollen to dust to mold and so on and so forth). i remember going to the doctor to take an allergy test and crying when we got the results because i was still allergic to dogs. weeping. not throwing a tantrum, just feeling like my heart was breaking because i so badly wanted an animal to love and take care of and play with. …did i mention i was 6?

sooo when i was 6, we went to visit my cousin in washington. her parents had just gotten her a horse, and at this time (and for many years after… probably still kind of applicable) i was head over heels horse crazy. but i was kind of just animal crazy in general, and i wanted a pet SO badly. i would help write the grocery list and write ‘puppy’ and ‘pony’ on it frequently. and by frequently i mean every single chance i got. so my cousin tells me she asked her parents for a horse for six years. and she said if you asked every day for six years for something you would get it. i really took that advice to heart, it seems like.

so flash forward to when i turned 12.. i really liked (and still enjoy) going to the animal shelter to play with the animals (except every time my mom would bring me i would fall in love with something and cry when we didn’t get to bring it home, so she wasn’t very inclined to bring me there more than once a month). so this time we walked in, like usual, and walked straight to the dog section. all the dogs in there were kind of crazed and loud and barking and leaping at the door when we walked by, and it smelled of urine and feces, and it was kind of overwhelming, but i mean i lovedddd the animal shelter so none of this really phased me. then i saw one cage that was quiet, and there was this little white puppy sitting there quietly, looking out the bars, just looking so forlorn and sad… and i asked my mom if we could take that one out for a walk. she was more inclined towards another dog, a big brindle mixed breed that was standing at it’s door wagging it’s tail, but she humored me. so we took the little white pup out for a walk (her name was milly), and played with her and pet her and i loved this little dog so much my heart hurt. and by this time i kind of realized me getting a dog was a shot in the dark. but regardless i pleaded and begged with my mom (as was the norm whenever we went to the animal shelter) and promised i would do everything for this dog. i would walk her and feed her and train her and love her and make her the best dog ever. and she still said no.

but then when i walked back into the shelter to return little milly to her cage (mournfully), my mom took a second to herself and went to the payphone in the waiting room to call my dad. yeah cell phones didn’t really exist as a normal commonplace thing yet… i’m aging. and i guess they had already been talking to each other about letting me get one, and he agreed to come out and meet her!

and the rest is history. we took milly home with us and i renamed her mika, and she is the most perfect, amazing, wonderful, loving dog i could ever ask for. my dad did say when we got her that he wouldn’t have let me get her if she was full pit, but i think if he were alive now and had access to the internet he would change his mind about full pits. she reminds me of him, and even now when i say “dad” or “daddy” she perks up her ears and looks towards to door to see if he’s coming home.

ah so i’m sorry i just typed out a novel in regards to your very simple question, but remembering all of this was so lovely for me i couldn’t stop the flow.

i find mika to be the sweetest dog i’ve ever met. she’s kind to strangers, amazing with young children and babies, and great with other dogs. i highly recommend pitbulls as pets. they’re loyal and loving and super intelligent.

i couldn’t ask for anything more in a dog. she is part of our family.

@2 years ago
#dad #memory #mika #pitbull 

"Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still"

Henry Scott-Holland

(via ihatejackets-deactivated2012031)

@2 years ago with 55 notes
#dad #death #things to remember 
this is my father and i when i was a merely a tater-tot. he is the reason i play guitar, why i strive to be the best in all things i do, why i follow my heart and don’t ever give up.
i know this post sounds corny, but i woke up and missed him so much this morning. some days are easier than others, but the pain of losing someone doesn’t ever fade away. my sister alison once said to me, “the pain doesn’t leave, you just get better at coping with it." and i feel that’s very, very true.
i guess the hardest part is just knowing that he isn’t going to be around for the big events. he missed my graduation, he missed getting to see me succeed and grow into this person that i hope he would be proud of. and thinking to the future, to getting married and having children, and moving into my first house.. i just wish he could be around to experience all of that with me.
today, with this book coming out, it may seem like a trivial thing but he is the one who introduced me to these George R. R. Martin novels. and i really wish he was here to read them with me, to discuss and dissect and swallow whole.
this heavy, deep sadness will pass, but i miss you daddy, always and forever.


‘In one of the stars I shall be living In one of them I shall be laughing and so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night’-Antoine de Saint-Exupery  ‘The Little Prince’

this is my father and i when i was a merely a tater-tot. he is the reason i play guitar, why i strive to be the best in all things i do, why i follow my heart and don’t ever give up.

i know this post sounds corny, but i woke up and missed him so much this morning. some days are easier than others, but the pain of losing someone doesn’t ever fade away. my sister alison once said to me, “the pain doesn’t leave, you just get better at coping with it." and i feel that’s very, very true.

i guess the hardest part is just knowing that he isn’t going to be around for the big events. he missed my graduation, he missed getting to see me succeed and grow into this person that i hope he would be proud of. and thinking to the future, to getting married and having children, and moving into my first house.. i just wish he could be around to experience all of that with me.

today, with this book coming out, it may seem like a trivial thing but he is the one who introduced me to these George R. R. Martin novels. and i really wish he was here to read them with me, to discuss and dissect and swallow whole.

this heavy, deep sadness will pass, but i miss you daddy, always and forever.


‘In one of the stars
I shall be living
In one of them
I shall be laughing
and so it will be
as if all the stars
were laughing
when you look at the sky at night’
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery ‘The Little Prince’

@3 years ago with 6 notes
#dad #things to remember 
this is a photo of my father and the rest of our family from when I was four or five. When I went to visit my grandmother last year after my grandfather passed away, she told me the story of how he went searching at a bunch of thrift stores to find me the perfect “princess dress” for my birthday (was obsessed with the original The King and I - those hoop skirts, dang! - and My Fair Lady at that age). And he obviously found the most perfect one possible. With a crinkly crinoline petticoat and everything. You can see how much I loved that thing in the photo.

Missing him big time today. He was such an awesome guy.
6 months ago
#lawren daltroy #dad #I wish I could bottle up my happiness and give it to my mother. 
It’s Just That Simple (my father was the greatest guy)

Lawren H. Daltroy Memorial

Some of us are lucky enough to experience it—a friendship that starts in college and endures for a lifetime. It happened to Lawren Daltroy (at left in photo) and Charles Derrow (at right) , two Michigan undergrads who met in the fall of 1967 as freshmen in West Quad. Although virtually polar opposites in personality—Derrow describes his own style as “crash and burn” while Daltroy was “quiet and compromising”—the two men quickly bonded over intellectual interests and a love of music. One of their first joint undertakings was to come up with the funds to buy a decent piano for the dormitory lounge.

“It took me a few days to figure out who he was, but that was all,” Derrow remembers. He lists some of Daltroy’s qualities: “Principled, kind, good at many things, courteous, soft-spoken, empathetic.”

Daltroy majored in history and Derrow in anthropology: both eventually became health professionals. Derrow attended medical school at Ohio University and established a clinical practice in Ohio. Daltroy earned his MPH at Michigan and then went on to gain a doctorate in public health at Johns Hopkins University. He was recruited by Harvard University a few years later, and directed research in arthritis at Brigham and Women’s Hospital while simultaneously holding professorships at Harvard Medical School and the Harvard School of Public Health. Daltroy was internationally recognized for his groundbreaking research on health education and his untiring efforts to improve patient-provider communication.

“His real joy was the individual patient, the individual provider,” Derrow says. “Because everything that goes right and everything that goes wrong [in health care] happens in the interview between doctor and patient.”

Daltroy recognized from the start that doctor-patient communication profoundly affected every aspect of health care, from accurate diagnosis of an ailment, to the patient’s compliance with treatment, to overall health outcome. At his first hospital job he developed patient education programs for patients with various ailments, only to realize that every time he moved to another unit “you had to convince the doctors all over again that what you were doing was important,” as he said in a taped 2003 interview. He maintained an unswerving belief in doctor-patient communication throughout his career, researching how standard clinical procedures can impede the process, and offering meticulously researched tactics for doctors to improve their relations with patients. Over and over again, Daltroy explored this core concern in different ways. At the time of his death from cancer at age 54, he was looking at the ways functional illiteracy can impede a patient’s ability to get good health care.

Now a scholarship established by Derrow carries on the legacy of his friend. The Lawren H. Daltroy Memorial is a fund specifically designated for doctoral students focusing on provider/patient communication.

Derrow credits Daltroy with teaching him the importance of listening to his patients. The scholarship “is a penance for me,” he says wryly, acknowledging he himself often came up short in that area. It also explicitly conforms to Daltroy’s wishes, says Derrow, who discussed the legacy beforehand with his friend.

“He told me exactly what to do; I got it right from his mouth,” says Derrow. “He gave me very strict parameters, and the parameters were this was not to be a large-scale thing, it was to be the individual patient and the individual provider…It’s just that simple.”

A scholarship in Daltroy’s name, intended to improve practice in the field of patient-clinician communication, was established after his death at the American College of Rheumatology in Atlanta. But Derrow felt it was important to establish a scholarship specifically at the alma mater he and Daltroy shared.

“My awakening as an intellectual is in great measure a result of my undergraduate education at Michigan. I don’t believe I could have had a better college experience,” says Derrow, who also has funded an anthropology scholarship at Michigan. “Every door that I started to walk through opened [at Michigan]. I was exposed to all kinds of people… and I was exposed to all kinds of ideas. I owe a great debt to Michigan. All of my children are alums, and my grandchildren will be.”

Most health-care institutions, the UM School of Public Health among them, train students in listening techniques as part of their education, but it is still often given short shrift. Derrow says he hopes that the Lawren Daltroy Memorial Fund will focus and improve the effort. “You need to do it over and over again, you need to practice it, because no patient is the same as another. You have to be nimble to get somebody to understand you.”

1 year ago
#my father #lawren hugh daltroy #dad #reading these things make me cry #he was the best 
Fredrick Arthur D’Altroy

(May 1, 1919 - January 1, 2013)

 Fred was born in Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada, the second child in his family.  When he was four years old he and his family moved to Port Alberni, British Columbia, a small logging and fishing town on a fjord along the Pacific coast of Vancouver Island.

 Fred’s father died when Fred was only 12 years old. By then, his family consisted of his mother and 4 children. They had very little money but with thrift, the help of a large garden, and left over catch received from the local fishing boats they were able to survive. His mother insisted on all the children staying in high school until they graduated.

 In the height of the depression, Fred held various jobs, and eventually joined the Canadian militia.  When the war in Europe broke out, Fred joined the Canadian Army and went overseas in 1941 as a member of the Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry (PPCLI). He spent six years in Europe fighting in Sicily, Italy, Germany, and The Netherlands. 

 When he came back home Fred immediately signed up to attend University. During his first year there, he met his beloved wife, Louise Reimer. After a 3 week courtship, they decided to get married and have been a committed couple ever since.  

 Fred received his bachelor and masters degree at the University of British Columbia.  During that time, they had two children, Lawren Hugh and Terence Norman. 

 Fred and his family moved to Lafayette, Indiana so Fred could attend Purdue University. [Louise claims that he decided on this university because Purdue’s football team beat Notre Dame the year before and Fred wanted to go to a winning football school. The ironic thing was that he couldn’t afford to go to the games, so he got a job as an usher!] At Purdue, Fred majored in the, then, new field of solid state physics. After graduating with his Ph.D. he was hired by Bell Laboratories and focused on transistor research and development. He received 17 patents in this field.

 Fred retired after 26 years and then spent another 8 years continuing as a consultant for Western Electric Company, a related company to Bell Labs.  At that time, he and Louise moved from Pennsylvania to southern California and settled in Carlsbad, CA.

 Fred was a man of great interests. He loved music, reading, photography, and then also took up painting after retirement. His paintings were beautiful. He formed lasting friendships and was loved by many. Each of his nieces thought she was his favorite. 

 Fred remained in good health until he was almost ninety. In the last two or three years of his life he had serious infections and pneumonia. That and the arthritis in his knees resulted in his being bedridden for the last six months. Despite his pain, he never lost his sense of humor (or his appetite!).  Fortunately, by the time of his death, he was pain free and in a coma. He merely stopped breathing.

 After 66 years of marriage, he is survived by his wife Louise; his remaining son, Terence and wife, Mariela; his daughter-in-law, Mary Ni (wife of his pre-deceased son, Lawren); his grandchildren Susan, Alison, Jenny, Nicole, and Mateo; his sister Isabelle Richardson; and his devoted caregiver Alexander (Alex) Julian Pas, Jr.

 He leaves beautiful memories.
1 year ago
#i don't deal with death very well #rest in peace grandpa fred #two guys i miss very much #dad #grandpa fred 
Coming Down To It (8.28.03)

Last night Terry told us his Arissa was not working any more
He and his doctor decided not to try anything else
He’s switched his focus to getting the best out of the next 6-12 months.
He’s come down to it,
And he’s at peace.

Today I bought two pairs of large pants to make room for my tumors.
I started morphine for the pain.
We talked about next steps if the new treatment fails, too.
I may be coming down to it.
And I’m at peace.

Peace is not giving up, but accepting
Whatever the results might be, of a good battle well fought.
I pray that God will grant me many years of peace before
I finally come down to it.

1 year ago
#Coming Down To It (8.28.03) #lawren hugh daltroy #dad #coming down to it #so wise #he only lived a month more after writing this 
A Litany of Remembrance

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,
we will remember him.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
we will remember him.
In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring,
we will remember him.
In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer,
we will remember him.
In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
we will remember him.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
we will remember him.
When we are weary and in the need of strength
we will remember him.
When we are lost and sick at heart,
we will remember him.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
we will remember him.
So long as we live, he too shall live,
for he is now part of us, as
we remember him.

1 year ago
#dad #we remember you #we carry you in our hearts #now and forever #rest in peace 

Anonymous said: did you always know you wanted a pitpull?

no, i only knew that i wanted a dog!

i have asthma, and since i was young i’ve been allergic to all sorts of inconvenient things (from cats and dogs to pollen to dust to mold and so on and so forth). i remember going to the doctor to take an allergy test and crying when we got the results because i was still allergic to dogs. weeping. not throwing a tantrum, just feeling like my heart was breaking because i so badly wanted an animal to love and take care of and play with. …did i mention i was 6?

sooo when i was 6, we went to visit my cousin in washington. her parents had just gotten her a horse, and at this time (and for many years after… probably still kind of applicable) i was head over heels horse crazy. but i was kind of just animal crazy in general, and i wanted a pet SO badly. i would help write the grocery list and write ‘puppy’ and ‘pony’ on it frequently. and by frequently i mean every single chance i got. so my cousin tells me she asked her parents for a horse for six years. and she said if you asked every day for six years for something you would get it. i really took that advice to heart, it seems like.

so flash forward to when i turned 12.. i really liked (and still enjoy) going to the animal shelter to play with the animals (except every time my mom would bring me i would fall in love with something and cry when we didn’t get to bring it home, so she wasn’t very inclined to bring me there more than once a month). so this time we walked in, like usual, and walked straight to the dog section. all the dogs in there were kind of crazed and loud and barking and leaping at the door when we walked by, and it smelled of urine and feces, and it was kind of overwhelming, but i mean i lovedddd the animal shelter so none of this really phased me. then i saw one cage that was quiet, and there was this little white puppy sitting there quietly, looking out the bars, just looking so forlorn and sad… and i asked my mom if we could take that one out for a walk. she was more inclined towards another dog, a big brindle mixed breed that was standing at it’s door wagging it’s tail, but she humored me. so we took the little white pup out for a walk (her name was milly), and played with her and pet her and i loved this little dog so much my heart hurt. and by this time i kind of realized me getting a dog was a shot in the dark. but regardless i pleaded and begged with my mom (as was the norm whenever we went to the animal shelter) and promised i would do everything for this dog. i would walk her and feed her and train her and love her and make her the best dog ever. and she still said no.

but then when i walked back into the shelter to return little milly to her cage (mournfully), my mom took a second to herself and went to the payphone in the waiting room to call my dad. yeah cell phones didn’t really exist as a normal commonplace thing yet… i’m aging. and i guess they had already been talking to each other about letting me get one, and he agreed to come out and meet her!

and the rest is history. we took milly home with us and i renamed her mika, and she is the most perfect, amazing, wonderful, loving dog i could ever ask for. my dad did say when we got her that he wouldn’t have let me get her if she was full pit, but i think if he were alive now and had access to the internet he would change his mind about full pits. she reminds me of him, and even now when i say “dad” or “daddy” she perks up her ears and looks towards to door to see if he’s coming home.

ah so i’m sorry i just typed out a novel in regards to your very simple question, but remembering all of this was so lovely for me i couldn’t stop the flow.

i find mika to be the sweetest dog i’ve ever met. she’s kind to strangers, amazing with young children and babies, and great with other dogs. i highly recommend pitbulls as pets. they’re loyal and loving and super intelligent.

i couldn’t ask for anything more in a dog. she is part of our family.

2 years ago
#dad #memory #mika #pitbull 
miss my dad every day. he was such a stylish dad (although i totally didn’t appreciate it back then). that must be how i learned to love fashion. and he was so good at giving advice, and resolving issues. i loved talking to him. well i mean, i just loved him, but that’s a given. best dad i could have asked for.
on a lighter note.. how apparent is it that my mom used to cut my hair with paper scissors in the bathroom? (just kidding mom my hair looked great…love you!)
2 years ago
#throwbackthursday #dad #i love you #miss you every day #lawren daltroy 
"Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still"
Henry Scott-Holland

(via ihatejackets-deactivated2012031)

2 years ago
#dad #death #things to remember 
it’s not a feeling that fades easily. it’s always in the back of my mind. comforting and heartbreaking.
there have been so many lessons learned, so much advice given.. “Follow your heart. But, don’t give up!”. you were so wise. your wisdom lives on through us.
your gentle laughing soul, your strong music making hands, your delicious banana cream pie, your corny as fuck jokes. always the mediator, always willing to compromise. and you loved us so much.
it’s been eight years, as of today. but it still feels like you’re coming home. i miss you forever dad.
2 years ago
#i wanted to write more but i just can't #dad #i love you #i miss you 
this is my father and i when i was a merely a tater-tot. he is the reason i play guitar, why i strive to be the best in all things i do, why i follow my heart and don’t ever give up.
i know this post sounds corny, but i woke up and missed him so much this morning. some days are easier than others, but the pain of losing someone doesn’t ever fade away. my sister alison once said to me, “the pain doesn’t leave, you just get better at coping with it." and i feel that’s very, very true.
i guess the hardest part is just knowing that he isn’t going to be around for the big events. he missed my graduation, he missed getting to see me succeed and grow into this person that i hope he would be proud of. and thinking to the future, to getting married and having children, and moving into my first house.. i just wish he could be around to experience all of that with me.
today, with this book coming out, it may seem like a trivial thing but he is the one who introduced me to these George R. R. Martin novels. and i really wish he was here to read them with me, to discuss and dissect and swallow whole.
this heavy, deep sadness will pass, but i miss you daddy, always and forever.


‘In one of the stars I shall be living In one of them I shall be laughing and so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night’-Antoine de Saint-Exupery  ‘The Little Prince’
3 years ago
#dad #things to remember 
3 years ago
#dad #tattoo #pamela love claw ring