Anonymous asked: Hey girl, I just read your old post about keeping your relationship private. I just recently got out of a 2 yr relationship & my ex has been posting all these pictures of himself & of girls he's been hanging out with on his social media. I'm glad he's happy but it's still heartbreaking, even though I broke up with up him. How do you move on & stop looking? I feel like I'm holding myself back by checking out what he's up to but it's like I need to know? Thanks for always being inspiring to me!!
girl. (or boy… but i refer to boys and girls both as “girl.” recently anyway)
don’t i know alllllll about TMI on social networks. i could go on and on about exes doing despicable things on socials… but this isn’t about me. it’s about you.
first of all, break ups suck. always. but sometimes you need to do what’s really best for you - even if it doesn’t feel like it’s the best thing - and that’s distancing yourself from the person you’re breaking up with. regardless of whether or not you want to stay friends with the person you’re breaking up with, that doesn’t mean you need to stay connected via socials.
i’d say delete him. from facebook/instagram/twitter/everything. when you’re still following him it’s too tempting to check up on him, and more than likely he’s posting those photos with the intention of YOU seeing them. if you guys are really down to be friends then you can stay in touch the normal way. via phone. the hard part will be wondering what he’s doing that you don’t know.. but it’s really better for you not to know. have a good friend of yours delete/block him for you. or if you think it’s too easy to turn off the block, maybe give up socials for a little bit and let a good friend change your passwords for you.
focus on yourself and do things that make you happy/distract you in a healthy way. self improvement is a great way to redirect your focus. maybe try taking a class in something that you’ve always found interesting. try a new class at the gym that you’ve never been drawn to before (i just did this and was very impressed with how much i enjoyed it). spend time with good friends. make new friends. let yourself splurge a little. write about your feelings. sometimes it’s good to have an outlet that can’t give advice. it’s when you’re happiest and not looking for a partner that you will find someone that suits you best. but for now, focus on yourself and getting yourself to a happy place. put yourself first. and part of doing that is not lurking his socials for the things he may or may not be posting about rebound girls. plus doesn’t everyone know how awful rebounds (almost) always turn out? totally not healthy.
it’s definitely hard not to want to look (EVERYONE, including me, is guilty of this), but you know it isn’t what you need.
i hope this helps answer your question! stay strong my love. and let me know how it goes.
xx
@1 month ago with 5 notes#advice #personal #anon













