everyone deals with things in their own, specific to them, way. 
i need to remember this when i get upset about people spilling their guts on facebook, or instagram, or twitter; venting about their family’s personal issues, or a fight with their significant other, or the loss of a loved one. 
i also need to realize that the way that i, personally, deal with things is not something that everyone can understand. when i’m sad, or upset, or absolutely torn to bits on the inside that something is happening, i internalize everything. i withdraw into myself, and lose my desire to interact with other people completely. i get caught up in my own emotions, and i forget that other people have expectations of me as well, and to them it just seems like i’ve gone from being friendly and happy and joking, to being cold and completely reserved. 
i know specifically what this has stemmed from as well. i remember a specific post (on xanga ha) i wrote when my father was sick, where i expressed my frustration over all the people calling and checking how he was doing. i was 15, and i was scared, and i was confused about what was happening, and i was sullen. and it was hard for me to balance understanding that these people, his friends, were worried about him and trying to show their love and support of him by calling. all i could see was that he was sick, he had CANCER for crying out loud, and no he was NOT doing ‘okay’. and i kept answering a phone that never stopped ringing, disturbing him when he was trying to sleep, never letting my mother drop her facade that she put on every time someone asked her how he was doing, and i was upset. i think i was venting about how people should be more considerate of the fact that he’s trying to recuperate from these invasive radiation treatments, and to stop fucking calling all the damn time. but anyway i remember just feeling this build up, this intense feeling of FUCK i just need to VENT to someone, to anyone about this, because i barely understand what i’m feeling and i’m about to explode.
anyway this girl, Maria Gomez, who went to my high school, and somehow felt like she had the right to judge me, printed out a copy of this post and wrote her feelings all over it. “how DARE she be upset over people calling to check on her sick father” | “what kind of stupid bitch can’t handle answering the phone a few times” | “what the fuck kind of asshole complains about people caring” | “SHE should be the one with cancer instead of her sick father”… and handed them out all over our highschool. 
i remember someone gave me a copy of one of these handouts on my bus ride home, and going into my room when i got home and writing into a journal so hard that i ripped through about 15 pages, FUCK YOU. and crying so hard, so quietly, so fucking hard. and then she had the audacity to ask me to come to his funeral. 
this, and that i had to deal with going back to school after he passed away, and deal with all my teachers having told everyone in all of my classes that my father had just died, so everyone treated me like a damn invalid, has culminated in the way i handle things these days. i internalize it, and i don’t tell anyone what’s going on unless they absolutely need to know. i talk about it with my family, and that’s it. i don’t ask for sympathy, and i don’t give any explanations. and i’m beginning to realize that’s probably not the healthiest way to go about these things, but i just cannot abide the idea of using these tragedies as excuses, or my hurt as a reason to do me any favors. 
anyway, this is my form of venting now. sorry for sounding so bitter, because i know i need to let go of this anger, and figure out a way to let people in when i need them. but i’m still figuring it out. and it’s not easy for me.

everyone deals with things in their own, specific to them, way. 

i need to remember this when i get upset about people spilling their guts on facebook, or instagram, or twitter; venting about their family’s personal issues, or a fight with their significant other, or the loss of a loved one. 

i also need to realize that the way that i, personally, deal with things is not something that everyone can understand. when i’m sad, or upset, or absolutely torn to bits on the inside that something is happening, i internalize everything. i withdraw into myself, and lose my desire to interact with other people completely. i get caught up in my own emotions, and i forget that other people have expectations of me as well, and to them it just seems like i’ve gone from being friendly and happy and joking, to being cold and completely reserved. 

i know specifically what this has stemmed from as well. i remember a specific post (on xanga ha) i wrote when my father was sick, where i expressed my frustration over all the people calling and checking how he was doing. i was 15, and i was scared, and i was confused about what was happening, and i was sullen. and it was hard for me to balance understanding that these people, his friends, were worried about him and trying to show their love and support of him by calling. all i could see was that he was sick, he had CANCER for crying out loud, and no he was NOT doing ‘okay’. and i kept answering a phone that never stopped ringing, disturbing him when he was trying to sleep, never letting my mother drop her facade that she put on every time someone asked her how he was doing, and i was upset. i think i was venting about how people should be more considerate of the fact that he’s trying to recuperate from these invasive radiation treatments, and to stop fucking calling all the damn time. but anyway i remember just feeling this build up, this intense feeling of FUCK i just need to VENT to someone, to anyone about this, because i barely understand what i’m feeling and i’m about to explode.

anyway this girl, Maria Gomez, who went to my high school, and somehow felt like she had the right to judge me, printed out a copy of this post and wrote her feelings all over it. “how DARE she be upset over people calling to check on her sick father” | “what kind of stupid bitch can’t handle answering the phone a few times” | “what the fuck kind of asshole complains about people caring” | “SHE should be the one with cancer instead of her sick father”… and handed them out all over our highschool. 

i remember someone gave me a copy of one of these handouts on my bus ride home, and going into my room when i got home and writing into a journal so hard that i ripped through about 15 pages, FUCK YOU. and crying so hard, so quietly, so fucking hard. and then she had the audacity to ask me to come to his funeral. 

this, and that i had to deal with going back to school after he passed away, and deal with all my teachers having told everyone in all of my classes that my father had just died, so everyone treated me like a damn invalid, has culminated in the way i handle things these days. i internalize it, and i don’t tell anyone what’s going on unless they absolutely need to know. i talk about it with my family, and that’s it. i don’t ask for sympathy, and i don’t give any explanations. and i’m beginning to realize that’s probably not the healthiest way to go about these things, but i just cannot abide the idea of using these tragedies as excuses, or my hurt as a reason to do me any favors. 

anyway, this is my form of venting now. sorry for sounding so bitter, because i know i need to let go of this anger, and figure out a way to let people in when i need them. but i’m still figuring it out. and it’s not easy for me.

@2 weeks ago with 10 notes
#personal #life stuff #sometimes shits deeper than you know what to do with 

Anonymous asked: Lol I think I saw you at LF on Saturday, the 16th. I think you were trying a pair of cute shoes w/ gold hardware. I wanted to say 'hi,' but felt like that would've been too weird so I sadly walked away. Now I'm regretting it because you probably would've been really friendly! :)

yes!! that was definitely me. i’ve been on something of a ‘gold kick’ recently 

and by recently i mean.. the last two years…

but definitely next time say hi!! it won’t be weird at all. promise.
and if you were deterred cuz i looked grumpy, that’s just how my face looks sometimes. and by grumpy i mean bitchy. haha 

xx

@1 year ago
#anon #personal #hi! 
someone told me i look like an elf today…

someone told me i look like an elf today…

@1 year ago with 7 notes
#ootd #supreme #me #personal #rugby #american apparel #michael kors #goodwood 

Anonymous asked: Where are you from? Your blog is rad. :D

hiiiiii! thank you so much!

i hail from boston, ma.

and to be specific i’m from allston, that scummy, delightful little town that has so much personality, and so very, very much to offer.

i love it here.

@1 year ago with 3 notes
#personal #anonymous 

vansgirls:

Meet Jeni - women’s buyer at Miss KL. She is by far one of my most favorite people around Boston, and one of the most stylish, I should add. Glad to see that she and I share a mutual obsession with the Sk8-Hi Slims. This lovely lady showed up early to work sprinted around in one of the hottest pair of shoes this Fall. What pair of Vans is your favorite for the Fall season?

What makes you a Vans Girl?

“Whenever I get ready in the morning, I don’t really think too much about what trends to follow, or who I want to look like. I make it a point to always stay true to myself, and that, I think makes me a true Vans Girl.” -brittany

HEY DAS ME

@1 year ago with 45 notes
#vans #vansgirls #ootd #tuesday #outfit #wdywt #wiwt #personal #me #jenini 
flannel, denim, and a bathing suit as a onesie  (Taken with Instagram at Karmaloop)

flannel, denim, and a bathing suit as a onesie  (Taken with Instagram at Karmaloop)

@1 year ago with 4 notes
#ootd #outfit #personal #me #oneill #one teaspoon #vintage #chanel #ombre #dip dye #long hair #asian #HASHTAG CRAZY 
shwinggg (Taken with Instagram at Karmaloop)

shwinggg (Taken with Instagram at Karmaloop)

@1 year ago with 1 note
#ootd #me #outfit #personal #tie dye #tattoo #gpoy #wiwt #wdywt 

Anonymous asked: Hey girl, I just read your old post about keeping your relationship private. I just recently got out of a 2 yr relationship & my ex has been posting all these pictures of himself & of girls he's been hanging out with on his social media. I'm glad he's happy but it's still heartbreaking, even though I broke up with up him. How do you move on & stop looking? I feel like I'm holding myself back by checking out what he's up to but it's like I need to know? Thanks for always being inspiring to me!!

girl. (or boy… but i refer to boys and girls both as “girl.” recently anyway)

don’t i know alllllll about TMI on social networks. i could go on and on about exes doing despicable things on socials… but this isn’t about me. it’s about you.

first of all, break ups suck. always. but sometimes you need to do what’s really best for you - even if it doesn’t feel like it’s the best thing - and that’s distancing yourself from the person you’re breaking up with. regardless of whether or not you want to stay friends with the person you’re breaking up with, that doesn’t mean you need to stay connected via socials.

i’d say delete him. from facebook/instagram/twitter/everything. when you’re still following him it’s too tempting to check up on him, and more than likely he’s posting those photos with the intention of YOU seeing them. if you guys are really down to be friends then you can stay in touch the normal way. via phone. the hard part will be wondering what he’s doing that you don’t know.. but it’s really better for you not to know. have a good friend of yours delete/block him for you. or if you think it’s too easy to turn off the block, maybe give up socials for a little bit and let a good friend change your passwords for you.

focus on yourself and do things that make you happy/distract you in a healthy way. self improvement is a great way to redirect your focus. maybe try taking a class in something that you’ve always found interesting. try a new class at the gym that you’ve never been drawn to before (i just did this and was very impressed with how much i enjoyed it). spend time with good friends. make new friends. let yourself splurge a little. write about your feelings. sometimes it’s good to have an outlet that can’t give advice. it’s when you’re happiest and not looking for a partner that you will find someone that suits you best. but for now, focus on yourself and getting yourself to a happy place. put yourself first. and part of doing that is not lurking his socials for the things he may or may not be posting about rebound girls. plus doesn’t everyone know how awful rebounds (almost) always turn out? totally not healthy.

it’s definitely hard not to want to look (EVERYONE, including me, is guilty of this), but you know it isn’t what you need.

i hope this helps answer your question! stay strong my love. and let me know how it goes.

xx

@1 year ago with 5 notes
#advice #personal #anon 

enterbohemia asked: what does it mean that you're a "ladies buyer" for MKL and Karmaloop? like, what all does it entail??xo

hi!

as a buyer i am responsible for choosing the product that we sell on the sites. i do this by seeing the lines ahead of time (usually two seasons ahead of time) and placing buys based off of trend knowledge, trend forecasting, budget, and OTB (open-to-buy). 

i am also responsible for negotiating discounts and shipping and payment terms with my vendors. the bigger the discount, the larger the margin (i.e the more money we make). i do weekly reorders on product that is selling well, and negotiate swapouts or margin assistance for items that aren’t moving. i oversee some of the styling to ensure the looks on the site stay in line with how i envisioned the line when i bought it. i help pull looks for the lookbooks as well. i work with marketing on strategies to push categories, new brands, and to generally create sales. i also update the instagrams (not all the time, just when on work trips or when i have a new exclusive i want you guys to see)

it’s a lot of work, and a LOT more numbers crunching than people think.. but i love what i do.

i might have missed some of what the job entails… but you get the gist!

x

@1 year ago with 7 notes
#work #karmaloop #misskl #anon #personal 
vansgirls:

This past week my office has been insane. Whether it’s planning for Black Friday, or researching new campaigns, I’ve found it really hard to get any sleep whatsoever these days. However, it’s really not that bad. I find it quite enjoyable to be oh-so busy. For instance, we just held a casting call for new Karmaloop models, which happened to turn into a photoshoot/pizza binging opportunity. Women’s buyer, Jeni, came in with her ultra comfy & fleece lined leopard Houston’s. I’ve converted another individual to the Vans Girls side. -brittany

oh heyyyy there i am!

vansgirls:

This past week my office has been insane. Whether it’s planning for Black Friday, or researching new campaigns, I’ve found it really hard to get any sleep whatsoever these days. However, it’s really not that bad. I find it quite enjoyable to be oh-so busy. For instance, we just held a casting call for new Karmaloop models, which happened to turn into a photoshoot/pizza binging opportunity. Women’s buyer, Jeni, came in with her ultra comfy & fleece lined leopard Houston’s. I’ve converted another individual to the Vans Girls side. -brittany

oh heyyyy there i am!

@1 year ago with 35 notes
#vans #vans girls #karmaloop #misskl #realmisskl #jenini #me #personal 
realmisskl:

we caught ladies buyer jenini dressed in head to toe misskl product! stylestalker snakebite leggings, unif skinny tank, and jeffrey campbell x @wildfoxcouture combat boots.
happy hump day y’all!

looking pleasantly awkward… per usual

realmisskl:

we caught ladies buyer jenini dressed in head to toe misskl product! stylestalker snakebite leggings, unif skinny tank, and jeffrey campbell x @wildfoxcouture combat boots.

happy hump day y’all!

looking pleasantly awkward… per usual

@1 year ago with 30 notes
#me #personal #hi brittney #ootd #outfit 
photo of me spotting olivia on the carousel by lifestylebuffalo
funfunfunfunfun

photo of me spotting olivia on the carousel by lifestylebuffalo

funfunfunfunfun

(Source: 1990etc)

@1 year ago with 7 notes
#karmaloop #misskl #lookbook #olivia lo #lust for life #olivia lopez #jenini #carousel #boston #candid #me #personal #smile 

Anonymous asked: Is your real named spelled Jeni or Jenny?

my real name is spelled in chinese characters.

'ming' is the english way to spell it but i feel like there's something lost in the translation of the beautiful curving, exacting lines that form asian characters and the boring script of english words.. it means “bright”.

@1 year ago with 5 notes
#ming #me #personal #JENINI 
everyone deals with things in their own, specific to them, way. 
i need to remember this when i get upset about people spilling their guts on facebook, or instagram, or twitter; venting about their family’s personal issues, or a fight with their significant other, or the loss of a loved one. 
i also need to realize that the way that i, personally, deal with things is not something that everyone can understand. when i’m sad, or upset, or absolutely torn to bits on the inside that something is happening, i internalize everything. i withdraw into myself, and lose my desire to interact with other people completely. i get caught up in my own emotions, and i forget that other people have expectations of me as well, and to them it just seems like i’ve gone from being friendly and happy and joking, to being cold and completely reserved. 
i know specifically what this has stemmed from as well. i remember a specific post (on xanga ha) i wrote when my father was sick, where i expressed my frustration over all the people calling and checking how he was doing. i was 15, and i was scared, and i was confused about what was happening, and i was sullen. and it was hard for me to balance understanding that these people, his friends, were worried about him and trying to show their love and support of him by calling. all i could see was that he was sick, he had CANCER for crying out loud, and no he was NOT doing ‘okay’. and i kept answering a phone that never stopped ringing, disturbing him when he was trying to sleep, never letting my mother drop her facade that she put on every time someone asked her how he was doing, and i was upset. i think i was venting about how people should be more considerate of the fact that he’s trying to recuperate from these invasive radiation treatments, and to stop fucking calling all the damn time. but anyway i remember just feeling this build up, this intense feeling of FUCK i just need to VENT to someone, to anyone about this, because i barely understand what i’m feeling and i’m about to explode.
anyway this girl, Maria Gomez, who went to my high school, and somehow felt like she had the right to judge me, printed out a copy of this post and wrote her feelings all over it. “how DARE she be upset over people calling to check on her sick father” | “what kind of stupid bitch can’t handle answering the phone a few times” | “what the fuck kind of asshole complains about people caring” | “SHE should be the one with cancer instead of her sick father”… and handed them out all over our highschool. 
i remember someone gave me a copy of one of these handouts on my bus ride home, and going into my room when i got home and writing into a journal so hard that i ripped through about 15 pages, FUCK YOU. and crying so hard, so quietly, so fucking hard. and then she had the audacity to ask me to come to his funeral. 
this, and that i had to deal with going back to school after he passed away, and deal with all my teachers having told everyone in all of my classes that my father had just died, so everyone treated me like a damn invalid, has culminated in the way i handle things these days. i internalize it, and i don’t tell anyone what’s going on unless they absolutely need to know. i talk about it with my family, and that’s it. i don’t ask for sympathy, and i don’t give any explanations. and i’m beginning to realize that’s probably not the healthiest way to go about these things, but i just cannot abide the idea of using these tragedies as excuses, or my hurt as a reason to do me any favors. 
anyway, this is my form of venting now. sorry for sounding so bitter, because i know i need to let go of this anger, and figure out a way to let people in when i need them. but i’m still figuring it out. and it’s not easy for me.
2 weeks ago
#personal #life stuff #sometimes shits deeper than you know what to do with 

Anonymous asked: Hey girl, I just read your old post about keeping your relationship private. I just recently got out of a 2 yr relationship & my ex has been posting all these pictures of himself & of girls he's been hanging out with on his social media. I'm glad he's happy but it's still heartbreaking, even though I broke up with up him. How do you move on & stop looking? I feel like I'm holding myself back by checking out what he's up to but it's like I need to know? Thanks for always being inspiring to me!!

girl. (or boy… but i refer to boys and girls both as “girl.” recently anyway)

don’t i know alllllll about TMI on social networks. i could go on and on about exes doing despicable things on socials… but this isn’t about me. it’s about you.

first of all, break ups suck. always. but sometimes you need to do what’s really best for you - even if it doesn’t feel like it’s the best thing - and that’s distancing yourself from the person you’re breaking up with. regardless of whether or not you want to stay friends with the person you’re breaking up with, that doesn’t mean you need to stay connected via socials.

i’d say delete him. from facebook/instagram/twitter/everything. when you’re still following him it’s too tempting to check up on him, and more than likely he’s posting those photos with the intention of YOU seeing them. if you guys are really down to be friends then you can stay in touch the normal way. via phone. the hard part will be wondering what he’s doing that you don’t know.. but it’s really better for you not to know. have a good friend of yours delete/block him for you. or if you think it’s too easy to turn off the block, maybe give up socials for a little bit and let a good friend change your passwords for you.

focus on yourself and do things that make you happy/distract you in a healthy way. self improvement is a great way to redirect your focus. maybe try taking a class in something that you’ve always found interesting. try a new class at the gym that you’ve never been drawn to before (i just did this and was very impressed with how much i enjoyed it). spend time with good friends. make new friends. let yourself splurge a little. write about your feelings. sometimes it’s good to have an outlet that can’t give advice. it’s when you’re happiest and not looking for a partner that you will find someone that suits you best. but for now, focus on yourself and getting yourself to a happy place. put yourself first. and part of doing that is not lurking his socials for the things he may or may not be posting about rebound girls. plus doesn’t everyone know how awful rebounds (almost) always turn out? totally not healthy.

it’s definitely hard not to want to look (EVERYONE, including me, is guilty of this), but you know it isn’t what you need.

i hope this helps answer your question! stay strong my love. and let me know how it goes.

xx

1 year ago
#advice #personal #anon 

Anonymous asked: Lol I think I saw you at LF on Saturday, the 16th. I think you were trying a pair of cute shoes w/ gold hardware. I wanted to say 'hi,' but felt like that would've been too weird so I sadly walked away. Now I'm regretting it because you probably would've been really friendly! :)

yes!! that was definitely me. i’ve been on something of a ‘gold kick’ recently 

and by recently i mean.. the last two years…

but definitely next time say hi!! it won’t be weird at all. promise.
and if you were deterred cuz i looked grumpy, that’s just how my face looks sometimes. and by grumpy i mean bitchy. haha 

xx

1 year ago
#anon #personal #hi! 

enterbohemia asked: what does it mean that you're a "ladies buyer" for MKL and Karmaloop? like, what all does it entail??xo

hi!

as a buyer i am responsible for choosing the product that we sell on the sites. i do this by seeing the lines ahead of time (usually two seasons ahead of time) and placing buys based off of trend knowledge, trend forecasting, budget, and OTB (open-to-buy). 

i am also responsible for negotiating discounts and shipping and payment terms with my vendors. the bigger the discount, the larger the margin (i.e the more money we make). i do weekly reorders on product that is selling well, and negotiate swapouts or margin assistance for items that aren’t moving. i oversee some of the styling to ensure the looks on the site stay in line with how i envisioned the line when i bought it. i help pull looks for the lookbooks as well. i work with marketing on strategies to push categories, new brands, and to generally create sales. i also update the instagrams (not all the time, just when on work trips or when i have a new exclusive i want you guys to see)

it’s a lot of work, and a LOT more numbers crunching than people think.. but i love what i do.

i might have missed some of what the job entails… but you get the gist!

x

1 year ago
#work #karmaloop #misskl #anon #personal 
someone told me i look like an elf today…
1 year ago
#ootd #supreme #me #personal #rugby #american apparel #michael kors #goodwood 
vansgirls:

This past week my office has been insane. Whether it’s planning for Black Friday, or researching new campaigns, I’ve found it really hard to get any sleep whatsoever these days. However, it’s really not that bad. I find it quite enjoyable to be oh-so busy. For instance, we just held a casting call for new Karmaloop models, which happened to turn into a photoshoot/pizza binging opportunity. Women’s buyer, Jeni, came in with her ultra comfy & fleece lined leopard Houston’s. I’ve converted another individual to the Vans Girls side. -brittany

oh heyyyy there i am!
1 year ago
#vans #vans girls #karmaloop #misskl #realmisskl #jenini #me #personal 

Anonymous asked: Where are you from? Your blog is rad. :D

hiiiiii! thank you so much!

i hail from boston, ma.

and to be specific i’m from allston, that scummy, delightful little town that has so much personality, and so very, very much to offer.

i love it here.

1 year ago
#personal #anonymous 
realmisskl:

we caught ladies buyer jenini dressed in head to toe misskl product! stylestalker snakebite leggings, unif skinny tank, and jeffrey campbell x @wildfoxcouture combat boots.
happy hump day y’all!

looking pleasantly awkward… per usual
1 year ago
#me #personal #hi brittney #ootd #outfit 
1 year ago
#vans #vansgirls #ootd #tuesday #outfit #wdywt #wiwt #personal #me #jenini 
photo of me spotting olivia on the carousel by lifestylebuffalo
funfunfunfunfun
1 year ago
#karmaloop #misskl #lookbook #olivia lo #lust for life #olivia lopez #jenini #carousel #boston #candid #me #personal #smile 
flannel, denim, and a bathing suit as a onesie  (Taken with Instagram at Karmaloop)
1 year ago
#ootd #outfit #personal #me #oneill #one teaspoon #vintage #chanel #ombre #dip dye #long hair #asian #HASHTAG CRAZY 

Anonymous asked: Is your real named spelled Jeni or Jenny?

my real name is spelled in chinese characters.

'ming' is the english way to spell it but i feel like there's something lost in the translation of the beautiful curving, exacting lines that form asian characters and the boring script of english words.. it means “bright”.

1 year ago
#ming #me #personal #JENINI 
shwinggg (Taken with Instagram at Karmaloop)
1 year ago
#ootd #me #outfit #personal #tie dye #tattoo #gpoy #wiwt #wdywt